Do you ever feel like the entire world is weighing down on your shoulders? Because that happens to me, a lot.

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (recurrent, severe, with psychosis) when I was 16 or 17 and it completely changed my life. Having a diagnosis made me feel so much better, but at the same time it weighed me down. I felt like I was being labeled at “depressed” for the rest of my life. And while it may never go away, that doesn’t mean that I have to let it control my life. It took me about two years to realize this and ever since then I’ve been slowly working on myself and figuring out just how much self-care and self-love I truly need.

The worst part about Major Depressive Disorder, for me personally, is that it has a great affect over my hobbies. I can fall in love with a hobby, like crocheting, and then completely loss interest in that hobby for months. It has been about 6 or 8 weeks since I truly sat down and crocheted something. I know I will get back into my hobbies at some point, but the waiting period is so hard for me. I want nothing more than to pick up my hobbies again, but it feels like my brain won’t let me.

Another really hard thing for me is the way it can affect my hygiene. I can go days without showering because taking a shower feels like such a task. It feels like my body is completely incapable of taking a shower. Which is really aggravating because I want to take a shower, I want to be clean, but my brain does not seem to care about what I actually want.

I started this blog with the intention of posting every single day, but if I’m being honest that probably won’t happen. My depression gets so bad that getting out my laptop and typing a simple blog post feels like a chore. So I wanted to come on here and be completely transparent with you guys about everything.

I may never get to a point where I feel like I can post every day, but I promise to post when my brain and my body feels up to it. I don’t want to let you guys down and make it seem like I just fell off the face of the Earth, never to return. I will always be back. I put a lot of effort into making this blog and I plan to keep up with it on at least a semi-regular basis.

My blog posts may seem a little bit short for a while, but I’m still getting into the swing of things so please be patient with me. I want everyone to know that your mental health matters more than anything else and you can never let it stop you from progressing in life. There are people who love you and care about you. There are people who want to see you succeed in life and want to watch you achieve your goals. If you feel like you have nobody else, just know that you have me.

Please leave a comment and tell me about something you’ve done recently that you’re really proud of! I would love to hear about it!

Thank you for reading my blog!

Love, Mal <3